Friday, December 31, 2010


When I hear those two years, I automatically think of a lot of effort and work being involved. Year end for my accountant husband, means extra hours and less time at home. He has to balance the accounts and start the year fresh.

It's got me thinking that maybe I should be doing the same in my personal life. I need to run some "financials" on my personal life. Some of my "accounts" have balanced very well. Some need some extra work balancing. I wonder if I were to run some reports titled "Martin", "Victoria" and "David" how they would look. Would they be balanced? Would they alert me to the necessity of making changes in how I operate this upcoming year. Would they show that I have given proper love and attention? My prayer is that my total would not be "in the red", but that there will be a nice healthy and thriving balance.

One of the hugest accounts we will ever manage as humans is our "time". Unlike many other accounts, our time will only ever decrease. We can increase our love account, but that is not possible with our time account. I wonder if I were to look at an actual Journal Entry titled "Time" if I would be ashamed. How many of my days, hours, minutes and seconds have I used in a responsible fashion? Would there be enough lines showing that I put my children as a priority? Did I put my husband as a priority? Did I give a good amount of time to my Lord?

Financial Statements do not lie. They tell you the truth about your operation. My prayer is that my financial statements will be those that reflect a woman living a balanced life.

So... Good-bye 2010. Thank you for what you taught me. 2011? Bring it on!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Book Review: Fearless by Max Lucado

Fearless is a must read for everyone! There is not a specific age group that I would recommend this book to, because it would be beneficial for all. I have never read anything from Max Lucado before, but that will definitely be changing! Mr. Lucado has a way with words that allows the reader to clearly understand what he is saying. He is so down-to-earth and matter of fact. He remains positive throughout the book and each time I would read, I would be left with a happy feeling within. He allows the reader to see how much each of us fears things that more often than not, never come into existence. I am so excited that I can now pass this book on to others to read. Thank you Mr. Lucado for such an inspiring book in such an unsettling world.

I received the book "Fearless" written by Max Lucado from Book Sneeze to read and review. I was not paid by them to do this review.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Do You Like Your Friends?

I have always encouraged my children to be wise in their choice of friends. That being said, I also encouraged them to be friendly to all. Too many times, I have seen people treated different or not as well due to many things beyond their control. Some of these being, but not limited to, the way they look, the type of clothes they wear, where they live, where they work, who their family is, their financial status, etc.... Some may respond, "...but that is high school behavior..." Is it really? I'm sad to report that I have been guilty at times of discriminating behavior. Ouch!

The world we live in is full of anti-discrimination rules and laws. However, it is still a very big discriminatory world. When I discriminate against someone, I have basically taken the place of God and put myself above that person. I have seen too many times where people are treated differently because they may not attend the same type of church we do, or wear the same type and/or brand of clothing, they do not raise their children the same, etc.... I think it's time we band together and say "ENOUGH!" We have all been created in God's image. When I discriminate, I am saying that God's creation is less than perfect. Yes, we are all less than perfect thus the reason Christ's blood was shed, but I have not been given the authority to be the one to judge. My husband often says, "I have had two very big revelations in my life: 1) There is only one God 2) I am not it." That basically sums it up!

This does NOT mean that I cannot encourage my children to make wise choices when it comes to choosing friends. If you ask my children what I say about the way we should relate to other people, they will tell you that Mom says, "You don't have to like them, but you have to love them." I'm SUPER happy about this, because there's some people that no matter how hard I try, I just can't like! However, I can love them. I want my children to make good choices in their friends. I also want them to befriend those who may be different. A little love can go a long way.

I am not a big advocate of having a "best" friend. I like having several close friends. I think friends should help balance you as a person. I don't want a friend who is exactly like me. I want friends who help me to be a better me. I also want to BE a good friend. The Scriptures tell us "...a man that hath friends must first show himself friendly." This will never fail to be true. This is something I have talked about with my daughter often. Girls are emotional and need emotional ties to people. I don't want her to put all of her confidence in one "friend". Guess what? People are human! The only place I want her full confidence is in the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the only one that will NEVER let her down in her life. I want to be remembered as one that had many friends and one that showed myself friendly.

I would consider my husband to be my best friend here on earth (yes I know I said I'm not an advocate of best friends, but this is different!). He is the one that I share everything with. Not talking about him, I got thinking today about my friends. I asked myself "do I like the people I choose to spend my time with?" The answer is definitely Yes. I hope that others can say the same about me!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

New Life

Wow. There's a lot of meaning in that small word. Our life has totally and completely changed these past few weeks. Although I had a peace about our decision, I was still apprehensive about what the future would hold with enrolling our children in school.

The first day or two was tough for me. It was the first time I let go of totally controlling their education and entrusting them to someone else. It's the first time my babies have been gone from me everyday for ALL day. The Lord really blessed us through a friend to confirm our decision. This friend said one night he felt to pray for our family really hard and to focus especially on our children. Upon praying, he said that he was impressed by the Lord that we made the right decision and that if we would continue to teach our values to our children at home, all would be fine. What a blessing! This touched Martin and I so much and just further confirmed our decision.

Victoria is thriving. She is my social butterfly. She loves to be out and to be busy. She loves her teacher and the business of school. She is part of Service Squad at her school which has enabled her to feel like she belongs and has a place right away.

David is doing amazingly well. I prayed that he would be given the right teacher. Guess what!?! I couldn't have picked a better teacher for him if I had handpicked her myself! She is totally perfect for David. He is doing exceptionally well. The structure of school is proving to be very beneficial for our son. He is excited and is doing great.

I sit back and watch in awe. It's amazing how God can change the course of our path so quickly. What's more amazing is that He knows exactly what we need! This is turning out to be the very best decision for our family. It has helped to teach me another lesson in following the Lord's leading even when I don't understand it. It reminds me of the beginning of a song that I love...

Oh rejoice in the Lord
He makes no mistakes
He knoweth the end
Of the path that I must take...

In closing, I encourage each of you to follow what the Lord is leading you to do. There is no greater path in life that we can trod.

Monday, September 6, 2010

I'm Going To Be A Mom!

Ok, I know I'm already a Mom. No, we are not adding another little Andrews to our family! I am now just going to be Mom and not teacher to my children. It still sounds so strange to me. I'm getting excited about the future.

It's amazing to me how God can change our perspective and hearts. As you know, our son has many challenges that he and our family faces each day. He has ADHD, OCD, and ODD. These three combined together makes for a very eventful home. The Lord has given us the strength to face each day and succeed the very best we can. It has been challenging to say the least. It's so tough as a parent when you do all you know to do and it still seems like it isn't enough. Thankfully, I know the ONE who is enough. He has always held me in the palm of His hand and recharged me. For this, I am so grateful.

As the mother of a son with these challenges, I feel like a huge weight is being lifted off of me. We knew that we had to try the school option. It's a wonderful feeling to know that I'm going to have help! I'm so excited about being able to be just my children's Mom now and not their teacher too. I haven't experienced that in a long time and it's so exciting to me. I don't know how long it will last. We have committed to the full school year and we will reassess after that. I just wanted to express my joy at this new phase in our life.

At first, I felt like a failure when we decided to enroll our children. I had a peace, but I still felt like I had failed. God has helped me to see that I have not failed.

I have been successful and He has changed the course that we are to trod. I am still a very strong advocate of homeschooling. However, that doesn't mean that everyone should homeschool. Every family dynamic is different. I see that as parents we can place guilt on other parents with our opinions. Homeschoolers may make non-homeschoolers feel guilty that they don't homeschool. Also, non-homeschoolers can make homeschoolers feel guilty about homeschooling. It's actually a vicious circle. Let's respect one another's decisions. It's amazing to me how many people will give their unsolicited opinions in life. I know I have been very guilty of this. I am learning to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself unless I'm asked about them. Just because I may not agree with a decision that someone makes, it doesn't mean their decision is wrong. I love the saying... "Opinions are like belly buttons. Everyone has one!"

So, let's band together as parents no matter what your schooling set up is. I need you to survive. Each of us have been enabled with our own experiences and challenges so that we may lend our love and support to others. I know I will be looking for some support from some of you as we take this new journey. The journey of me becoming "just a Mom!" I'm going to be busy making those after school snacks and loving every moment of it!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Big Changes Are Coming!

What a busy summer we have had! It's hard to believe that it is almost coming to a close and another school year is upon us. We are going to be experiencing a huge change in our family this year.

We have always reassessed our children's educational arrangement each summer. We would discuss the pros and cons and pray about whether we were to keep homeschooling or not. Prior to this year, the answer had always been "Yes". This year, it was different. As you know, our son has some challenges that we face as a family. It was a rough summer for us. After much prayer, we decided to enroll our children in school this year. It was a very hard decision for us to make. For the first time in their lives, I am giving up the control of my children's education. I know I can be part of it, but I will not be the one directing it. That's scary to me!

I was very emotional after our decision. I felt peace, but I also felt other emotions. I am so very thankful to say that the Lord has helped me to come to a place of pure peace and excitement! I'm seeing that so many positives may come out of this new journey we are about to take. I am still a huge advocate of homeschooling. However, I was never one that held the belief that homeschooling is the only right option. The education of our children is such a personal decision to be made within each home by the mother and father. No one else knows our children like we do. God has entrusted them to us to raise them to the very best of our ability.

I am asking each one of you that read this if you would take a few moments to pray for our family as we enter this new phase of our life. Our circumstances have changed, but I'm so thankful that my Creator NEVER changes. I have full confidence that He will continue to lead us and direct us as we look to Him.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Book Review: The Last Operative

I was given the privilege to read the book "The Last Operative" by Jerry B. Jenkins. This is the first time I read a fiction book that had a lot of suspense and action in it. I wasn't sure that I would enjoy it. It turned out that I LOVED this book. I found myself not wanting to put this book down. When I read the first sentence, I was hooked. I haven't had a book grab me like this in a long time. I found myself thinking of others I know that would enjoy this book. There's parts in this book that makes me think of the retired TV series "24". I believe both men and woman would enjoy reading this. It kept me guessing the whole time. I love how Jerry B. Jenkins made me feel like I was right there with the characters. I found myself holding my breath, or my heart pumping. I will definitely recommend this book to others to read. I was sent this book complimentary by Tyndale House Publishers.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

An Addition to Yesterday's Post...

Why is it that when I blog about a certain subject that is the very thing I am then challenged with? I many times yesterday I wanted to yell. There was even one instance I opened my mouth and remembered my post and stood there with my mouth open but no words coming out. I can picture Jesus looking down and have a little chuckle.

My husband sent me an email after reading my post. With his permission, I am sharing a small part of it. I thought it was a wonderful visual. Please read below...

"Very good sweety! AMEN to that! I told myself that I am going to imagine a stop sign .... and my blood boils. I am then going to imagine a yield sign which means to proceed with caution!"

I am in the driver's seat each day. I want to watch those signs that are there to help me be a better driver. I alone am responsible for my reactions; not just with my children, but with everything. Sometimes we will see a road sign that alerts us that the road is bumpy ahead or that the bridge may be icy. I'm going to look for those signs so that I can be a better "driver" within my home.

As women, we all experience what my family calls "the grouchy time of month." I think those are the times that we need to be kind and alert our family with a "Bumpy Road Ahead" sign. I will always think that these female hormones we experience in life are part of the curse! How many of us have woken up in the morning feeling real out of sorts and grouchy. On those days, I'm trying to talk to the Lord and not just ask but BEG for His help. I will also let my husband and children know that I am feeling grouchy today. I don't want to be like this, so let's work together to have a smooth and calm day. It really works. Many times, they will all laugh and groan, but it helps set a better tone for the day. Just so you know, I'm in NO way perfect or even close to it. I still give in at times to Mrs. Grouch, but I'm trying!

I so appreciate the Lord dealing with my heart when I most need it. It doesn't always feel good, but I know He loves me when He does. I ask your prayers for me today that I will remember to have a soft answer.

Monday, July 12, 2010

A Soft Answer Turneth Away Wrath

Proverbs 15:1 says "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger". This Scriputre has been going through my mind continually the past few weeks. This scripture really makes me think about my responses to situations in life and especially as a mother.

Anyone with children can understand the frustrations that accompany some days. It seems the worst behaviour can come out when you are making dinner. Everyone is hungry and tired. Then, you add a child with ADHD to the mix and you may just have a volcano waiting to erupt (either in you, your child or both of you!!!). I am learning that giving a soft answer and sweet loving words can cause this volcano to become dormant. Actually, it can change the tone of the whole evening in our home.

I expect my children to respect me. However, I am to respect them as well. It is imperative that I don't let "grievous words" depart my lips to them. The definition of the word grievous according to is: "causing grief or great sorrow." My children should not be caused sorrow from my words, but by realizing they did wrong. It is my job to help them see how they can please the Lord. I don't want them to obey because my words hurt and wound them. God forbid!

Repeating oneself is often the normal course of each day as a parent of one with ADHD. So many times the words, "I have told you a million times....." have crossed my lips. There is no truer statement, however, those words have not been spoken softly. I do not think those words lend themselves to be kind. These are very derrogatory words. Yes, I'm the mother and the one with the authority, however ,that does NOT give me a license to express my expectations and frustrations unkindly to my children.

Just this past week, my son had tried me and pushed every button he could. Later in the day, I felt irritated, angry and I had a headache. These were ingredients for a blow up in our home. By the grace of God, I responded lovingly. I still had to administer consequences, but did so with a heart and tone of love. An amazing thing happened! My son changed his behavior and tone. Wow. God is so merciful.

Whispering has become my weapon to figh the hard parts of the day. When I feel like yelling, I will whisper. My children look at me strange and ask me why I'm whispering. I respond, "If I don't whisper, I will yell." They are seeing a good example of self-control. I wish I could report that I have ALWAYS responded correctly to my children, but that is not the reality. The amazing thing is that my children have seen me blow my top, but they have also seen me apologize for that behavior. I can't expect more out of my children then I expect out of myself. I am accountable for the words and the tone that comes out of my mouth. One day, I will have to answer for my actions and reactions. My prayer is that I will be found pleasing in my Savior's sight.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


Greetings friends. It has been a while since I have blogged. We are in the midst of SUMMER! Summer has presented us with it's own new circumstances. As I have previously said in other blog posts, structure can be crucial for one with ADHD/OCD.

Our schedule has changed. We finished school the Friday before Memorial Day. The three of us were very happy to be finished for summer. My concerns of how this change would affect my son were definitely warranted. It has been a bit of a tough time. However, I have learned so much. It's amazing how hard times can give us an abundance of understanding. I have had to work at finding a "new normal" to help my son adjust to his new schedule. There's been some extra hard days/weeks latey, but God has helped me through them.

Although we have had our adjustments, summer can be a wonderful time for one with ADHD. The good weather lends itself to a lot of ACTIVE outdoor play. The key is to provide and keep interesting those outdoor activities. We purchased a pool two weeks ago. It has been one of the best purchases we have ever made!!! My thinking is that if we provide our children with these activities, as they grow older, they will be at HOME enjoying them. I will always know what they are doing and who they are associating with. I do not mean this to be a judgmental statement, so please don't take it to be so. It is just our (my husband and I) preference for our family.

I have also at the encouragement of my husband and others carved out time for me each week. That time comes in the form of working out at the gym and taking time after that work out to read. It has helped in so many ways! I am improving my health by exercising and strengthening my mind by reading. My aunt always tells me... "Take time for yourself, you will be a better Mom." She is so right! Last week was an especially rough week for my son. I went to the gym and I worked out a lot of the frustration I felt on the elliptical machine. Exercise releases those "feel good" endorphines through my body. I believe the same goes for children and especially those with ADHD. Active play helps to relieve their little bodies of the overabundance of energy the possess.

I encourage you to shut OFF the tv and get your little ones moving. For that fact, you can move with them. It is equally beneficial. Some of the greatest times I've had with my two children is having a "game" of basketball in the driveway. Not only are they learning to be active, but they are learning to cheer one another on and feel the happiness of succeeding.

I have more to say, but it will have to wait as we need to get ready to head out to the gym. Get out and get moving!

Sunday, July 4, 2010


It took me longer to get through this book than most books I read. I felt that it started slow and seemed "out there" at first. However, half way through the book, it seemed to get better. I do think this would be a wonderful read for men that have experienced hurtful relationships with male figures in their life. It may not even be a hurtful relationship, but the lack of a relationship.

As a wife and mother reading this book, it did offer some insight into the lives of my husband and son. I felt that the author's view that every man has a "dangerous, adventure seeking soul" may have been too liberal. I do not view my husband this way, nor would he describe himself this way. However, I do feel that it sums up my son.

I found myself loving and hating this book all at the same time. When I completed reading this book, I felt that I would like to read more from this author, especially the book written for women. I have a few people in mind that I plan to pass this book on to that I think would benefit from it.

I was sent this book free by Book Sneeze to read and review and was in no way paid for this review.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

It's Raining, It's Pouring, My Little Man Is Definitely Not Snoring

The first thing I heard when I awoke this morning was the sound of rain. I sighed. A rain day can be exhausting. The gloomy day itself can make one feel tired and maybe out of sorts. I knew the day ahead would hold challenges as the rain took away the option of playing outside for my children. I then knew that I had a decision to make. I could go along with the type of day outside and be gloomy, or I could choose to make the best of this rainy day. I took a deep breath and chose the latter.

Then, my son woke up. When David wakes up, his feet hit the floor and his footsteps make the announcement, "Here I am world!" This is a big contrast to my daughter, Victoria. She has never been a morning person. She begrudgingly wakes up, limps out of bed and plops herself wherever I or her Dad happen to be at that time. She likes cuddling and greeting the day at her speed. (I love this time with my girl).

This morning was no different. I heard David's feet hit the floor, he flung his door open and jumped in my bed. The first words out of his mouth were "this is my energy Day Mom! Do you know what that means?" I fearfully replied "No?" He said, "This is the day that I have EXTRA energy!!!" All I could say was "Wow." How could it be that a rain day and his Extra Energy day occurred on the same day. My first thought... "I'm doomed!"

I began to think about the decision I had made a short time before this. I chose to make this a good day. I had decided to greet the day with a good attitude. Really? Could this still work?

I had already decided to wait and do school in the afternoon today. My children were up later than normal. This is where I'm extra thankful for the flexibility of homeschooling. I went to the gym to work out and they got to play in the Child Care Area. At one point in my motherhood journey, I would have thought that I was being selfish to take this time for me. I now see it quite different. This workout helps me so much. It allows me to stay healthy, focused and gets those "feel good" endorphins flowing through my body. Post workout, I feel like I can conquer more!

It is now in the afternoon and we are about to head to our school room to finish our school for the day. If we finish in enough time, we may be able to play a game together or snuggle and watch a movie. This day is turning out wonderfully. Not only am I surviving, I'm embracing and enjoying.

Thank you Lord for allowing me to see that I am the one that makes the choice on how I will greet each day. Thank you for helping me to choose a good attitude. Thank you for helping me to set the proper tone in my home today. I am nothing without you. Oh and thank you for this beautiful rainy day. I am looking forward to some good quality time with my sweet children. Amen.

Monday, May 3, 2010

ADHD Monday

Mondays. Need I say more? Mondays tend to be a big tougher than other days. We are getting back into routine after our weekend break. A break in routine lends itself to a day or two of extra patience needed. We typically have a later start on Mondays. After trying different ways, I found it to be the most successful. It is also a day we play "catch-up" from the weekend. It is usually a longer school day for us. I think I would be right if I said Monday is probably most people's least liked day of the week. This is proving to be true for us today.

We have taken the week off from school. I am busy doing spring cleaning. The children are helping also. David stuck with us for a good while and did his chores and a few extra. As I was cleaning my furniture, it dawned on me that it was a little too quiet. I called out "David!" No response. I called again. No response. Suddenly, my little man arrives in the sun room dripping wet. He looked at me soaked to the bone with those cute puppy-dog eyes. "Ok, Mom. I won't lie." (Ummm, thanks son. That's a good way to start). "I climbed the fence so I could go look at the fish in Mrs. Flo's yard. I wasn't even close to the edge, but I fell in her pond!" It was all I could do to not laugh hysterically. I had to turn around and busy myself at the counter so David would not know that I was highly amused. Now the hard part came, I still had to administer a consequence to his inappropriate action. This is a time I find it hard to be consistent. I called his Daddy who helped me to decide how to handle it. I almost laugh thinking of the thought process that may have gotten him into that pond.

Now that I type this out, I realize that maybe our day isn't so rough after all. I now have a very clean son (who showered after his pond experience), I'm laughing still thinking about what happened and I'm getting a clean house. You can never know what each day will bring you. Then, when you add ADHD into the mix, you REALLY never know! I think I will go and hug each of my children a little tighter. They really do make Monday's worth it all.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Sweet Saturday

This is turning out to be a wonderful Saturday. I have been able to get out and get a haircut and to enjoy a pedicure. I am now sitting alone at the library. Days like this are few and far in between, yet so necessary. It is important to take time for ourselves as Moms and to recharge.

Someone told me when Victoria was a baby, "Taking time for yourself and getting away will make you a better Mom." I looked at her like she was crazy! My heart was hurting leaving her for a few minutes. I recall getting together with friends who had been parents longer than I. They would be SO excited that they had a night "off". They had a babysitter for the evening. My mind couldn't grasp that fact! I was close to tears not being with my girl. My how times have changed. If I cry when I leave my children with a babysitter, it's normally tears of joy! I get a few hours of adult time!!! I now understand why my friends were excited to have a night out! I love family time, but I also love and need "Lindsay" time.

Women can be great creatures of guilt. As much as I am enjoying today, there is a small part of me that feels guilty that I'm not at home. My amazing husband has assured me that he is fine with me not being home for a while and actually encouraged me to take time away! I am SO blessed! However, with that being said, a small amount of guilt abounds; this day is important for me. It can be exhausting raising and homeschooling children, especially one with ADHD. I think that we as women need to band together and try to rid ourselves of this silly guilt that can come upon us. We need to see the need for balance. I am Victoria and David's mother and that fact makes me blissfully happy. However, I am still an individual that God created. He made me with my own interests and passions. I am learning that forgetting who I am and the passions within me makes me a less happy Mom. I can't forget who I am. I am God's child. Yes, I'm trying to juggle being wife to my husband, mother to my children, teacher to my children, piano player for my church, song leader for Sunday-School children, friend to my friends, Team Mom for my daughter's baseball team, daughter to my parents, etc.... It is imperative that I do not forget who I am.

I encourage mothers to remember themselves. This is NOT selfish; search for a balance in your life. I have found that setting out time each week to go to the gym to exercise a few times has been so important. I'm getting much needed time alone and VERY much needed exercise. Let go of the guilt and rediscover your passions. God placed talents and gifts within you. Find out what those are and sail with them. You do NOT have to be superwoman. Superwoman was a created, FICTIONAL character. There is NO such person. We cannot be her! Free yourself from that level of achievement.

You know, the funny thing about us Moms is that we can't wait to get out for some time alone, but we also can't wait to get back to our family! I'm excited to go home and to see and hear what my children and husband have been doing for the past few hours. I'm looking forward to enjoying the rest of the afternoon and evening with them! Better yet...they are going to love having me with them, because I have recharged my batteries and I will be a whole lot more pleasant to be with!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I Earned The Title Mother

Life's experiences make us qualified and "professionals" more than any amount of schooling could ever do. I feel qualified to speak out as the mother of a child with ADHD. I feel qualified to share how it is being told that your husband may not live. I feel qualified to understand the challenges one faces when moving from one country to another. I feel qualified to know how it is to leave one church to attend another. I sure wish I wasn't so qualified! However, on the flip side, I feel qualified to know that Jesus can calm the storms of ADHD. I feel qualified to share how there was a special closeness I felt with Jesus when I thought my husband would not make it. I feel qualified to say that I survived a move from one country to the other. I feel qualified to say that Jesus paved the way in a new church family for us. Perhaps being qualifed isn't all that bad after all.

Yesterday was one of those days for me as a mother of ADHD. I gained a little more schooling. We had a really rough afternoon. What started as a very pleasant day, ended with a heavy heart within myself and my husband. Unfortunately, my precious son had a very bad public ADHD meltdown. I learned that nothing could stop the storm that came on so suddenly. I had to change my son's surroundings and make the consequences much worse than the meltdown. That is hard for a Momma's heart. God created us as mother's to be loving and caring. If we are not careful though, we will give in to "guilt" feelings. My sweet friend told me yesterday... "It's not easy being a good parent". Those were the words I needed to hear at that exact moment. I sure didn't feel like a good parent. How could I be a good parent with a child acting out like that? That's where I have had to learn (and still am learning) that all I can do is my best in each situation. I can't MAKE things happen; I can help facilitate and do my best to set up for success, but that doesn't guarantee success. I had to stick to my guns and proceed. That's can be rough! I am speaking very bluntly about our day yesterday to show that days like these can abound. You can't stop the storm, but you can choose how to respond to the storm. I credit blogging with helping me choose to stay calm, loving, yet firm. Being able to write about ADHD allows me to be able to remember to choose the correct response.

I feel that I got some type of school degree for what I experienced yesterday. Unfortunately, life isn't like college. Once you get your degree, you do not have to keep taking the same class over and over. I know that we will experience more days like yesterday. However, I also know that I will not walk them alone. My King and my Savior knows that path I travel. He calmed natural storms, I know he can calm the storms of life for me. It brings to memory one of my favorite songs...

I know the Master of the wind
I know the Maker of the rain
He can calm the storm
Make the sun shine again
I know the Master of the wind.

Do you know the Master of the wind? If not, you CAN know Him too. He can calm your storms. He doesn't always take them away, but he will hold you in the palm of His hand as you go through them. There's no place I'd rather be.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Dreams vs Reality

We all have dreams. Our dreams change as we mature. I always had a dream of being a Mommy. I now dream of being able to have two minutes of peace. It's amazing how life has so many twists and turns. Some of our dreams come true, some do not.

Growing up, I had three things I stated I wanted physically in my husband: 1) He could not wear glasses 2) He could not be a lot taller than me 3) He needed to be a good singer. I laugh now when I think about this, because they were all "dreams" that were superficial and of non-importance. Reality is this: 1) Martin wears glasses (and he looks real good in them too), 2) he is almost a foot taller than me 3) He couldn't hold a tune if his life depended on it. I find it SO comical that everything I thought was so important is not what I married. Let me tell you... I married the most wonderful loving Godly man there ever was! He is my very best friend and my rock. He is a wonderful father and provider for our family. I'm glad that God knew my dreams were just silly little girl dreams and gave me my true dream!

I always would dream of being the mother of four children. We stopped at two. I pictured myself sitting on the couch reading to my children as they sat on the floor playing quietly and sweetly at my feet. Ha! That is one funny dream to me now. If that ever happened, it would probably be because I paid them! Reality is this: I will read to my children while they are sitting at a table coloring or building with Lego's and we might get through a page without an interruption, but probably not. I pictured myself always being the fun, patient, never-yelling, perfect mother. Ha! I never knew I would have a child that would test my patience to the very limit. Sometimes I have that Jekyll and Hyde moment (all you mothers know what I'm talking about!) I pictured sending my children off to school when they became of age, cleaning my home and preparing wonderful meals and greeting them with kisses and cookies each day. Ha! My children have never been on a bus, I clean in-between school lessons and activities, and sometimes I run and get pizza because I'm just too tired to cook!

Hollywood presents such a far-from the truth "fairytales". Everything always works out the way WE want them to. That's not real life. Couples who expect that type of hollywood romance each day are in for a big awakening. I'd much rather have my reality.

Giving my dreams to the ultimate One in life is the very best thing I can do. He creates my reality into dreams that I never knew I had!

Monday, April 26, 2010


I had an overwhelming feeling of contentment wash over me Saturday evening. I was playing UNO Attack with my husband and children. We had enjoyed a nice dinner together. Everyone was happy and there was peace in our home. It was blissful. How I wish this was the case each and every day.

Since then, my mind has begun to ponder the words content and contentment. Paul writes in Philippians about contentment. He states that he had learned to be content in whatever state he was in (paraphrased). This is something that God has dealt with my heart on over the past 12 years. When we moved from Canada to the U.S. in April of 1997, I had a hard time adjusting. Everything was different. I was far from family, I was in a new church, I was in a new house, etc.... Even activities such as grocery shopping was very different. In my time of struggle, this scripture that I quoted above became my motto... "I have learned in whatsoever STATE I am therewith to be content." (Philippians 4:11). I took this Scripture very literal. I told myself that I was in the STATE of Michigan and that I needed to learn to be content. A great transformation began to happen in my life. When I "let go and let God", I became content. I would now have a very hard time leaving Michigan. I have not learned to only be content here, but to LOVE it here.

I relate this feeling of contentment to being the mother of a child with ADHD. It can be real hard to be content when you face the daily challenges that are packaged with ADHD. I know the days where you feel like walking out the front door and never coming back. This is a feeling I never understood until I became the mother of one with ADHD. This past while, God has been dealing with my heart once again. He is the Master Heart Surgeon. He is speaking to my heart to learn to be content in this state I am currently in. Again, I'm finding that I'm not only learning to be content, but I'm learning to be thankful for it. When I learn to be content, my eyes are opened to all the blessings I have.

It's imperative that I remember that things do not stay the same forever. Life changes. My mission is to learn to be content. Jesus knows exactly where I am and the challenges I face each day. He is to be my source of contentment. I am blessed among women.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Timing Is Everything

Wow! I did not know that the words I wrote yesterday were the very words I would need today. We are not having a good day today. My son is challenging me extra this morning. I sincerely think that he would be ready to argue that the sun is green today. I began to get uptight, frustrated and exasperated with him. Then yesterday's words began to ring in my mind..."whisper..." I chose to whisper. What a difference. It is actually empowering to know that "I" am the one controlling how I choose to respond. My world is in no way perfect, but I'm so blessed that I have our perfect Savior to hold my hand and whisper, "Child, you can do this."

God's timing has always amazed me in my life. It can be so hard when in our current circumstances to understand why God allows things to happen. You know what though? His timing is ALWAYS perfect! I look back over my life and see that when I had to wait for things that I thought I should have had immediately, that's God's timing was perfect. Hindsight certainly is 20/20.

I have always liked to be on time. If I'm not early, I'm late. However, when I had children this belief was greatly challenged for me. Many times, the unexpected would happen. Other times, I just hadn't planned ahead of time properly. If I am running late, it creates a great amount of stress for me and then for my children. Again, my attitude sets the tone for our home. There are certain things that I must be on time for, but I have learned that other things can be relaxed more. It can be a monumental chore to get a child with ADHD to get his/her shoes on and out the door. My mind thinks, "let's just put the shoes on and let's go!" His mind thinks, "Wow, these shoes a cool blue color. The sky is blue too. I wonder how high I can jump into the sky? Maybe if I climb the tree and jump, I can get father up." You get the picture. This leads me to looking around for my son to find him in the tree ready to jump! How exasperating that can be!!! I am learning to walk my son through putting on his shoes. Giving a child with ADHD too many steps or too many commands is setting them up for failure. It is a good idea to give him one action to do. I will then peek to see how that action is going. I will redirect if needed. Then, the next action to be taken can be directed. I have learned that it's not David's disobedience that led him to climb the tree, but his creativeness.

How many of us have stories of how God provided something just at the perfect moment? Last year, I was having a specially trying day with my son. I prayed and asked the Lord if He would give me something special to let me know HE knew and was aware. About an hour later, the mail arrived. It came about four hours earlier than it normally does. I thought it strange. I retrieved the mail and found amongst it a card addressed to me. I opened it up and the very front of the card said, "He Has You In The Palm Of His Hand." WOW! The Lord knew where I was and what I was experiencing! Even more amazing to me was that He knew when I would need that and had dealt with someones heart to mail this card to me. I felt so loved and humbled. I will always appreciate my dear sister in the Lord for following the Lord's leading. God's timing is perfect!

So... when you ask yourself, "Will this last forever?" Remember, that it will not. (Please feel free to remind ME of that on any given day too!). The Lord will equip you to complete each day as you raise the precious treasure you have been entrusted with. Hold on and enjoy the ride. It will be over before you know it.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


ADHD is a very rough road to travel. There are a lot of hard days for child and parent alike. I have come to the conclusion that parenting my son will never be easy. There has been three days up to this point that were easy days. There has been a lot of tolerable days and intolerable days. To be honest, there's days I want to throw in the towel and allow someone else the chance to try. The Scriptures say that the Lord's mercies are new every morning. How amazing is that? He equips me each and every day to handle that day's challenges. Our God knows exactly where I am on each given day and gives me the strength to conquer it. I'm so blessed.

It's so important to remember that my son's brain works very differently than mine. This is a blessing and a curse to him. The curse is that he doesn't always fit in what society considers "normal" thinking and problem solving. The blessing is also that he doesn't always fit in what society considers "normal" thinking and problem solving. David will have challenges as he thinks outside of the box and that is sometimes hard for his peers and elders to see. However, David will be able to do so many great things as he is able to come at a problem and life at a different angle. So many successful people in history showed so many signs of ADHD. They were able to think outside of the box. The "H" in ADHD definitely would have given them the energy to make their idea come to life.

It can be so hard to react positivelty when your patience has been tried over and over in any given day. It is very important for me to set boundaries and stick to them. This is the case for any child, but even more important for one with ADHD. They need to know what to expect and what is required of them for their success. It can be so frustrating repeating yourself for the gazillionth time. At first, I thought that David was just not listening and disobeying. I realize now that many times he didn't hear me, or he heard me, but it didn't process properly in his brain. Eye contact is very helpful when giving direction. Giving too many steps to a child with ADHD is overwhelming for them. Many times I will have my son repeat what I have instructed him to do. He is not disobeying me and he is not dumb, he just processes information differently than I do. As the parent, I have to be the one that make changes in the way I parent. That has been the hard part for me, but oh so worth it. There's times when I feel very frustrated that I will whisper. My children look at me strange and ask, "Mom, why are you whispering?" I reply "I am whispering rather than yelling." It takes more concentration for me to whisper and helps to dispel my present distress. We all have given our children "time-outs". The purpose of time-out is to remove your child from the situation and give them time to regroup. Guess what? Sometimes I give myself a time-out. If we are having an extra trying day, I will give my children something to keep them busy and tell them that Mom is feeling frustrated and needs to take a few minutes to calm down. This is NOT a sign of weekness to them, but rather shows them a good example for problem solving. I will take those few minutes in my room alone. I will regroup and then return to what we were doing. My attitude sets the tone for our home. Do I ever lose my temper? Unfortunately, yes. It's those times that I need to seek forgiveness from my Savior and my children. Again, I'm so thankful His mercies are new everymorning.

Saturday, April 17, 2010


Teaching Victoria has been an amazing and rewarding experience. She learns like I do and excels in the same subjects that I did. I find it very easy to relate to her. The main difference between us is that she has been blessed with amazing Creativity when it comes to art and drawing. I love to watch her create and use her imagination.

My son is very creative and imaginative also. I'm sure this is supposed to be a good thing. It can be a very trying thing for his Momma. David's creativity is outside of the box. It is outside of my thinking and my plan. I have learned and continue to learn the art of letting him go and let him fly. That is NOT easy for this Mom. Remember... my plan? I almost laugh now. Any type of plan I had went out the window with the David's diagnosis of ADHD in May of 2008.

I always knew that there was something more with our son. Yes, he was "all boy", but my mother's intuition knew it was more than that. Denial is a way of dealing with hard issues. That is what I did for a long time. However, it came time for us to face the facts and seek help. It was the best thing we ever did for our family.

We had to make an extremely hard decision about medication. There is so many different opinions and beliefs when it comes to a matter such as this. We prayed and cried. We wanted to make the right decision for our family. We made the decision to use medication. This is sometimes a very sensitive topic among parents and I believe that we are definitely in the minority of homeschoolers who choose this option. It was one of the hardest things I ever have had to do as a mother. I remember crying before dispensing it. It was NOT what I wanted to do, nor was it part of my plan.

The difference it made in our home and in our son's life was UNBELIEVABLE! We had a peaceful home (well... as peaceful as a home with children can be!). For the first time in 5 years, I felt like I was able to let out the breath I had been holding in. My heart goes out to parents who deal with this very issue. I remember the days where it seemed I was correcting my son non-stop. I remember the nights I would stand by David's bed watching him sleep and crying. I would cry because I loved this little boy so much and I longed to make his life easier. I cried because my life was full of turmoil. If you are reading this and are facing what we have faced, please know you are NOT alone. I have found a great need for mothers to be able to talk openly about the challenges WE face as a parent of a child with ADHD. There is a lot of literature on how it affects our child for which I am so thankful. However, we as Mothers also need to know that what we are feeling and experiencing within is normal and part of the diagnosis of your child's ADHD.

Remember, God had told me when I knew I was expecting my son that everything would be ok. Unfortunately, ok does not mean easy. At first, I wondered why God chose me to be David's mother. I was the one who made the plan and stuck to it. Mothers of children with ADHD can't exactly follow a plan. We have to be ready for change. I guess we don't really have to be ready, but it's coming whether we are ready or not! I have learned about CHANGE! I have learned that change is so imperative for a rewarding life. I still ask why God chose me to be David's mother. But I ask this question in a much different way now. Why did God BLESS me so much? Why did he entrust His little masterpiece that he let me name David to me? I only pray that I can BE the Mom this little boy needs to be all he can be in life.

Homeschooling You Say?

I will never forget our first couple years of homeschooling. I had my plan set of how it was going to work and we would follow it. Yep, there was my silly plan again. I did a good job of following that plan too. At the time, I was just homeschooling our daughter and she is so easy-going. Whatever method I used would work for her. To be a GOOD homeschooling Mom, I had to be so strict and inflexible, that's what school is all about, right? WRONG! I learned that learning is so much better when it is made ENJOYABLE. It's amazing how learning just HAPPENS! I have used many moments of non-school time, to teach my children. Those are the lessons that have stuck!

Was Victoria learning? Absolutely. Were we enjoying it? Not at all. I decided to change my curriculum up. There is so many options available to homeschoolers for teaching their children. My mind was boggled by it all. I would read books and catalogues long into the night searching to find the RIGHT fit for us. I had to have the EXACT PERFECT one. Somehow, I left God out of the equation. I began to pray for peace and guidance from Him. My husband had to go to Delaware for 2 weeks for his job. Our children and I were blessed to be able to accompany him. On one of those days, I just drove around. I saw a Salvation Army store and decided to stop. I was browsing the shelves of books and suddenly saw a familiar huge curriculum book. It was the exact book that I had almost purchased previously, but wasn't sure about it and didn't want to spend the money. (All who know me, know that I am VERY frugal). I decided to purchase the book. It so happened that day that all books were on sale, so this entire years worth of curriculum only cost me $1.29! I read through it and it was EXACTLY what I had in mind to teach and what I was looking for. God not only showed me what to use, but He placed it right in my path and at a major bargain too! Isn't He awesome!?! That is the curriculum I used for Victoria for First Grade and now for David this year. I purchased the Second and Third Grade Curriculum too. It has been a wonderful fit for us. We might be ready to change things up again, but I know that God will lead me to the right fit for our family.

Who am I ? (2)

My plan had finally unfolded the way I would like. I was happily married and had my two children. It was about time my plan came to life. I was ready to be the perfect stay-at-home mother of my two perfect children.

It began in the hospital, the day our son was born. David would cry when his position was changed. There was something wrong, or so we thought. The nurse took him to the special care nursery. Other than crying to eat every two hours, he was fine as long as no one moved him. I sat by him, holding his hand, crying. What was wrong with my baby? We waited for the specialist to see him. The prognosis: He might just be in a little pain from being born. He was a totally healthy baby. Thank God!

Due to the power outage, we were able to leave the hospital and come home early. It was wonderful coming home with our family! The first month of life at home is a fuzzy memory. We somehow survived. David liked to eat every 2 hours and cried a lot in between feedings. Nothing made him happy. My saving grace... he suddenly began to sleep through the night at 4 weeks. Thank You Jesus! That full night of rest gave me strength to get through the days of non-stop crying. It seemed that our son had developed colic. I was mom to a two year old, a colicky newborn and had no family close by. I remember somedays my husband would come home from work and I would be standing at the door with my screaming son in my arms, my daughter with me, crying. He would relieve me and I would go to the basement and lay on the bed and sob. What happened to my plan!?! This is NOT how parenthood was supposed to be.

I was torn between comforting my son, spending time with my toddler, being a wife, keeping house and being active in church. There was not enough of me to go around. Therefore, the "I'm fine" phasade came to be. The permament smile that let others know I had it all under control. Ha! Control? What was that? I had lost control. I was falling into a deep dark hole that I couldn't get out of.

I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety in the fall of 2004. What? How could I, a happily married wife and loving mother and a Chrisitan be depressed? Where was my faith in God? Christian people don't get depressed! I started on medicine and things began to turn around. I could now think clearer again. I could cope better. The decision to medicate or not is always a personal decision. I respect those that don't, and I ask for respect for those that do. Life began to look brighter again. I could do this after all. It got a whole lot easier. David was never easy to parent like his sister, but it was tolerable now. I just thought that it was the big difference between a boy and a girl. However, deep down my mother's intuition nagged at me that it was more.

We moved back to the U.S. in June of 2005, one day before our 10th wedding anniversary. It was a wonderful and joyous day. (We had been living just across the border for 6 1/2 yrs. due to immigration). Life was unfolding beautifully.

My daughter (who has always been a joy and so easy-going!) was now getting to school-age. Our plan all along had been to send her to a Chrisitan school. However, whenever we prayed about where the word "homeschooling" would come to me. I was NOT going to homeschool. That was crazy, insane and NOT me. Also, my husband was dead set AGAINST homeschooling. This was NOT our plan. We both agreed to pray for a few months about it and discuss again. I will never forget that discussion! We were in the vehicle on the way to church. I said, "Honey, we need to make a decision about school for our daughter." He agreed. I continued, "Whenever I pray about her schooling, I feel like the Lord is telling me that we are to homeschool." He looked at me and said, "You are totally right." What!?! God had dealt with his heart and showed him that we were to homeschool. It was NOT what we planned, but knew without a doubt that homeschooling was what our family was to do.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Who Am I?

I am a wonderfully blessed happy victorious sometimes on the brink of insanity woman! I am truly blessed among women.

I walk the path that I declared I would when I was young. When asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" as a youngster, I would declare, "A Mommy!" Many years later, I am doing just what I claimed I would do! However, the path that has brought me to this place had many unexpected twists and turns. Being a "Mommy" is not all how I thought it would be. I had visions of sitting with my children, lovingly telling stories, playing, cooking, talking, etc.... Yes, we do these things together, but my vision was a perfect one. It did not include the days and nights of colic, fits, puke, fights, ADHD, need I go on? I feel sometimes as a Mom that I am a small boat tossed to and fro between the crashing waves. However, there is One that knows when to calm those storms for me and speak peace to my heart.

I had it all planned out. I would get married, a couple of years later have a child and then wait a few more years and have another child and then possibly two more. I laugh now when I look back and see how naiive I truly was! My plan was not God's plan. I did get married at the tender age of 18, one week after graduating high school. I went from being a child to a married woman. I grew up while being married. I learned so much during those years of my life! It was not always an easy way to travel, but it was the best way for me. I am still married to that man today. We have continued to grow and mature together. Step one was complete... I got married.

I had it planned out that step two would naturally come in about two years. I couldn't wait for the day I would become Mommy to someone. Suddenly, my plan was not going very well. I found out that I had PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). There was not a whole lot of doctors that were educated with PCOS where I lived. At that time, we were told that we may never have children. If I got pregnant, there was a good chance I would lose my baby. If we ever did have a successful pregnancy, it would be a miracle. The wind went out of my sails. What happened to MY plan? Why me? I would be the perfect mother. Why?

It would be three years before my dream would be realized. Three hard, painful, tear-filled years. During that time, we had some major uphevals in our life. My husband almost died from complications during an auto accident, he lost his job and we moved from the only home I had ever known to the United States. What happened to MY plan?

I realized in March of 2000 that I was in the midst of a miscarriage. It was bitter-sweet. I was sad for the child I lost, but yet encouraged with the fact that I had indeed conceived!

It was two months later in May of 2000 that I found out I was expecting. The joy was uncontainable! I wanted to shout it from the mountain tops. I was expecting a BABY! It was a few short days later, that I began to show signs of miscarriage again. I was encouraged to lay down and let my body rest and let nature take its course. I was broken-hearted. Remember my plan, Lord? A sweet sister in the Lord prayed with me. She said that the Lord gave her the word "auspicious". She did not know what it meant. She found when she looked this word up at home that it was "successful". I just looked this word up now and saw that it said "Favorable". In February 22, 2001, we welcomed our precious baby girl, Victoria into our lives. There was nothing like it! Today, she still continues to be a joy to mother and have in our lives. All those days and nights of throwing up became distant memories. I was now a MOM! My plan was finally working out the way I imagined it!

We found out that we were expecting again in August of 2002! How exciting! It didn't take three years to become pregnant again! Six days later, I sadly lost this precious child. This miscarriage hurt more than the first, because I now knew what I had lost. I started down into a dark hole of depression. I didn't know pain like this existed. Our sweet Lord held me in His arms during this time and walked me through those dark days. He continued to let me know that He was there.

Unexpectedly, we found out two months later that we were expecting again. I was NOT ready for this. I was still grieving our lost babe. I had panic within my breast. To this day, I remember standing at the top of our stairs and the Lord spoke to my heart and said it would all be ok. And that it was! We welcomed our son into our lives August 14, 2003. The day of the Great Power Outage in 2003! I think that was God's way of telling me, "Look Out!" I did not know what I was in for!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Beginning Of Blogging

I am doing something that I said I would NEVER do. "I will never blog!" were the words spoken by my very own lips. They were typed by the very same fingers typing now. Alas, here I am... blogging.

Why am I so resistant to change? Why does the word change ring discomfort within me? For many women "The Change" is not something looked forward to. When I was younger, I would almost laugh at those who would speak of change being a hard hill for them to challenge. I now sit at the same side and ponder what changes I must make to climb my mountain of life. I am not talking about "The Change", I am talking about the concept of "change".

I'm finding more and more that change is not something to be feared, but embraced. Just think of all I will never experience if I resist change. My goal this year is to answer the door when change knocks. I will not only answer, but I will welcome change into the chambers of my heart and home.

It has been suggested to me by many to begin to walk the road of blogging. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband, daughter and son. All are precious to me. I have learned so much from being my husband's wife and my children's mother. My son has ADHD. This reason alone brings change into my life on a daily basis. However... that is a blog for a different day...