Wednesday, April 21, 2010


ADHD is a very rough road to travel. There are a lot of hard days for child and parent alike. I have come to the conclusion that parenting my son will never be easy. There has been three days up to this point that were easy days. There has been a lot of tolerable days and intolerable days. To be honest, there's days I want to throw in the towel and allow someone else the chance to try. The Scriptures say that the Lord's mercies are new every morning. How amazing is that? He equips me each and every day to handle that day's challenges. Our God knows exactly where I am on each given day and gives me the strength to conquer it. I'm so blessed.

It's so important to remember that my son's brain works very differently than mine. This is a blessing and a curse to him. The curse is that he doesn't always fit in what society considers "normal" thinking and problem solving. The blessing is also that he doesn't always fit in what society considers "normal" thinking and problem solving. David will have challenges as he thinks outside of the box and that is sometimes hard for his peers and elders to see. However, David will be able to do so many great things as he is able to come at a problem and life at a different angle. So many successful people in history showed so many signs of ADHD. They were able to think outside of the box. The "H" in ADHD definitely would have given them the energy to make their idea come to life.

It can be so hard to react positivelty when your patience has been tried over and over in any given day. It is very important for me to set boundaries and stick to them. This is the case for any child, but even more important for one with ADHD. They need to know what to expect and what is required of them for their success. It can be so frustrating repeating yourself for the gazillionth time. At first, I thought that David was just not listening and disobeying. I realize now that many times he didn't hear me, or he heard me, but it didn't process properly in his brain. Eye contact is very helpful when giving direction. Giving too many steps to a child with ADHD is overwhelming for them. Many times I will have my son repeat what I have instructed him to do. He is not disobeying me and he is not dumb, he just processes information differently than I do. As the parent, I have to be the one that make changes in the way I parent. That has been the hard part for me, but oh so worth it. There's times when I feel very frustrated that I will whisper. My children look at me strange and ask, "Mom, why are you whispering?" I reply "I am whispering rather than yelling." It takes more concentration for me to whisper and helps to dispel my present distress. We all have given our children "time-outs". The purpose of time-out is to remove your child from the situation and give them time to regroup. Guess what? Sometimes I give myself a time-out. If we are having an extra trying day, I will give my children something to keep them busy and tell them that Mom is feeling frustrated and needs to take a few minutes to calm down. This is NOT a sign of weekness to them, but rather shows them a good example for problem solving. I will take those few minutes in my room alone. I will regroup and then return to what we were doing. My attitude sets the tone for our home. Do I ever lose my temper? Unfortunately, yes. It's those times that I need to seek forgiveness from my Savior and my children. Again, I'm so thankful His mercies are new everymorning.

1 comment:

Kristy said...

Motherhood isn't for perfect women, but rather for perfecting the woman.
Great job, Linds!