Teaching Victoria has been an amazing and rewarding experience. She learns like I do and excels in the same subjects that I did. I find it very easy to relate to her. The main difference between us is that she has been blessed with amazing Creativity when it comes to art and drawing. I love to watch her create and use her imagination.
My son is very creative and imaginative also. I'm sure this is supposed to be a good thing. It can be a very trying thing for his Momma. David's creativity is outside of the box. It is outside of my thinking and my plan. I have learned and continue to learn the art of letting him go and let him fly. That is NOT easy for this Mom. Remember... my plan? I almost laugh now. Any type of plan I had went out the window with the David's diagnosis of ADHD in May of 2008.
I always knew that there was something more with our son. Yes, he was "all boy", but my mother's intuition knew it was more than that. Denial is a way of dealing with hard issues. That is what I did for a long time. However, it came time for us to face the facts and seek help. It was the best thing we ever did for our family.
We had to make an extremely hard decision about medication. There is so many different opinions and beliefs when it comes to a matter such as this. We prayed and cried. We wanted to make the right decision for our family. We made the decision to use medication. This is sometimes a very sensitive topic among parents and I believe that we are definitely in the minority of homeschoolers who choose this option. It was one of the hardest things I ever have had to do as a mother. I remember crying before dispensing it. It was NOT what I wanted to do, nor was it part of my plan.
The difference it made in our home and in our son's life was UNBELIEVABLE! We had a peaceful home (well... as peaceful as a home with children can be!). For the first time in 5 years, I felt like I was able to let out the breath I had been holding in. My heart goes out to parents who deal with this very issue. I remember the days where it seemed I was correcting my son non-stop. I remember the nights I would stand by David's bed watching him sleep and crying. I would cry because I loved this little boy so much and I longed to make his life easier. I cried because my life was full of turmoil. If you are reading this and are facing what we have faced, please know you are NOT alone. I have found a great need for mothers to be able to talk openly about the challenges WE face as a parent of a child with ADHD. There is a lot of literature on how it affects our child for which I am so thankful. However, we as Mothers also need to know that what we are feeling and experiencing within is normal and part of the diagnosis of your child's ADHD.
Remember, God had told me when I knew I was expecting my son that everything would be ok. Unfortunately, ok does not mean easy. At first, I wondered why God chose me to be David's mother. I was the one who made the plan and stuck to it. Mothers of children with ADHD can't exactly follow a plan. We have to be ready for change. I guess we don't really have to be ready, but it's coming whether we are ready or not! I have learned about CHANGE! I have learned that change is so imperative for a rewarding life. I still ask why God chose me to be David's mother. But I ask this question in a much different way now. Why did God BLESS me so much? Why did he entrust His little masterpiece that he let me name David to me? I only pray that I can BE the Mom this little boy needs to be all he can be in life.