Book Review: The Last Operative

I was given the privilege to read the book "The Last Operative" by Jerry B. Jenkins. This is the first time I read a fiction book that had a lot of suspense and action in it. I wasn't sure that I would enjoy it. It turned out that I LOVED this book. I found myself not wanting to put this book down. When I read the first sentence, I was hooked. I haven't had a book grab me like this in a long time. I found myself thinking of others I know that would enjoy this book. There's parts in this book that makes me think of the retired TV series "24". I believe both men and woman would enjoy reading this. It kept me guessing the whole time. I love how Jerry B. Jenkins made me feel like I was right there with the characters. I found myself holding my breath, or my heart pumping. I will definitely recommend this book to others to read. I was sent this book complimentary by Tyndale House Publishers.

An Addition to Yesterday's Post...

Why is it that when I blog about a certain subject that is the very thing I am then challenged with? I many times yesterday I wanted to yell. There was even one instance I opened my mouth and remembered my post and stood there with my mouth open but no words coming out. I can picture Jesus looking down and have a little chuckle.

My husband sent me an email after reading my post. With his permission, I am sharing a small part of it. I thought it was a wonderful visual. Please read below...

"Very good sweety! AMEN to that! I told myself that I am going to imagine a stop sign .... and my blood boils. I am then going to imagine a yield sign which means to proceed with caution!"

I am in the driver's seat each day. I want to watch those signs that are there to help me be a better driver. I alone am responsible for my reactions; not just with my children, but with everything. Sometimes we will see a road sign that alerts us that the road is bumpy ahead or that the bridge may be icy. I'm going to look for those signs so that I can be a better "driver" within my home.

As women, we all experience what my family calls "the grouchy time of month." I think those are the times that we need to be kind and alert our family with a "Bumpy Road Ahead" sign. I will always think that these female hormones we experience in life are part of the curse! How many of us have woken up in the morning feeling real out of sorts and grouchy. On those days, I'm trying to talk to the Lord and not just ask but BEG for His help. I will also let my husband and children know that I am feeling grouchy today. I don't want to be like this, so let's work together to have a smooth and calm day. It really works. Many times, they will all laugh and groan, but it helps set a better tone for the day. Just so you know, I'm in NO way perfect or even close to it. I still give in at times to Mrs. Grouch, but I'm trying!

I so appreciate the Lord dealing with my heart when I most need it. It doesn't always feel good, but I know He loves me when He does. I ask your prayers for me today that I will remember to have a soft answer.

A Soft Answer Turneth Away Wrath

Proverbs 15:1 says "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger". This Scriputre has been going through my mind continually the past few weeks. This scripture really makes me think about my responses to situations in life and especially as a mother.

Anyone with children can understand the frustrations that accompany some days. It seems the worst behaviour can come out when you are making dinner. Everyone is hungry and tired. Then, you add a child with ADHD to the mix and you may just have a volcano waiting to erupt (either in you, your child or both of you!!!). I am learning that giving a soft answer and sweet loving words can cause this volcano to become dormant. Actually, it can change the tone of the whole evening in our home.

I expect my children to respect me. However, I am to respect them as well. It is imperative that I don't let "grievous words" depart my lips to them. The definition of the word grievous according to www.dictionary.com is: "causing grief or great sorrow." My children should not be caused sorrow from my words, but by realizing they did wrong. It is my job to help them see how they can please the Lord. I don't want them to obey because my words hurt and wound them. God forbid!

Repeating oneself is often the normal course of each day as a parent of one with ADHD. So many times the words, "I have told you a million times....." have crossed my lips. There is no truer statement, however, those words have not been spoken softly. I do not think those words lend themselves to be kind. These are very derrogatory words. Yes, I'm the mother and the one with the authority, however ,that does NOT give me a license to express my expectations and frustrations unkindly to my children.

Just this past week, my son had tried me and pushed every button he could. Later in the day, I felt irritated, angry and I had a headache. These were ingredients for a blow up in our home. By the grace of God, I responded lovingly. I still had to administer consequences, but did so with a heart and tone of love. An amazing thing happened! My son changed his behavior and tone. Wow. God is so merciful.

Whispering has become my weapon to figh the hard parts of the day. When I feel like yelling, I will whisper. My children look at me strange and ask me why I'm whispering. I respond, "If I don't whisper, I will yell." They are seeing a good example of self-control. I wish I could report that I have ALWAYS responded correctly to my children, but that is not the reality. The amazing thing is that my children have seen me blow my top, but they have also seen me apologize for that behavior. I can't expect more out of my children then I expect out of myself. I am accountable for the words and the tone that comes out of my mouth. One day, I will have to answer for my actions and reactions. My prayer is that I will be found pleasing in my Savior's sight.

Summer

Greetings friends. It has been a while since I have blogged. We are in the midst of SUMMER! Summer has presented us with it's own new circumstances. As I have previously said in other blog posts, structure can be crucial for one with ADHD/OCD.

Our schedule has changed. We finished school the Friday before Memorial Day. The three of us were very happy to be finished for summer. My concerns of how this change would affect my son were definitely warranted. It has been a bit of a tough time. However, I have learned so much. It's amazing how hard times can give us an abundance of understanding. I have had to work at finding a "new normal" to help my son adjust to his new schedule. There's been some extra hard days/weeks latey, but God has helped me through them.

Although we have had our adjustments, summer can be a wonderful time for one with ADHD. The good weather lends itself to a lot of ACTIVE outdoor play. The key is to provide and keep interesting those outdoor activities. We purchased a pool two weeks ago. It has been one of the best purchases we have ever made!!! My thinking is that if we provide our children with these activities, as they grow older, they will be at HOME enjoying them. I will always know what they are doing and who they are associating with. I do not mean this to be a judgmental statement, so please don't take it to be so. It is just our (my husband and I) preference for our family.

I have also at the encouragement of my husband and others carved out time for me each week. That time comes in the form of working out at the gym and taking time after that work out to read. It has helped in so many ways! I am improving my health by exercising and strengthening my mind by reading. My aunt always tells me... "Take time for yourself, you will be a better Mom." She is so right! Last week was an especially rough week for my son. I went to the gym and I worked out a lot of the frustration I felt on the elliptical machine. Exercise releases those "feel good" endorphines through my body. I believe the same goes for children and especially those with ADHD. Active play helps to relieve their little bodies of the overabundance of energy the possess.

I encourage you to shut OFF the tv and get your little ones moving. For that fact, you can move with them. It is equally beneficial. Some of the greatest times I've had with my two children is having a "game" of basketball in the driveway. Not only are they learning to be active, but they are learning to cheer one another on and feel the happiness of succeeding.

I have more to say, but it will have to wait as we need to get ready to head out to the gym. Get out and get moving!

WILD AT HEART: BOOK REVIEW

It took me longer to get through this book than most books I read. I felt that it started slow and seemed "out there" at first. However, half way through the book, it seemed to get better. I do think this would be a wonderful read for men that have experienced hurtful relationships with male figures in their life. It may not even be a hurtful relationship, but the lack of a relationship.

As a wife and mother reading this book, it did offer some insight into the lives of my husband and son. I felt that the author's view that every man has a "dangerous, adventure seeking soul" may have been too liberal. I do not view my husband this way, nor would he describe himself this way. However, I do feel that it sums up my son.

I found myself loving and hating this book all at the same time. When I completed reading this book, I felt that I would like to read more from this author, especially the book written for women. I have a few people in mind that I plan to pass this book on to that I think would benefit from it.

I was sent this book free by Book Sneeze to read and review and was in no way paid for this review.

It's Raining, It's Pouring, My Little Man Is Definitely Not Snoring

The first thing I heard when I awoke this morning was the sound of rain. I sighed. A rain day can be exhausting. The gloomy day itself can make one feel tired and maybe out of sorts. I knew the day ahead would hold challenges as the rain took away the option of playing outside for my children. I then knew that I had a decision to make. I could go along with the type of day outside and be gloomy, or I could choose to make the best of this rainy day. I took a deep breath and chose the latter.

Then, my son woke up. When David wakes up, his feet hit the floor and his footsteps make the announcement, "Here I am world!" This is a big contrast to my daughter, Victoria. She has never been a morning person. She begrudgingly wakes up, limps out of bed and plops herself wherever I or her Dad happen to be at that time. She likes cuddling and greeting the day at her speed. (I love this time with my girl).

This morning was no different. I heard David's feet hit the floor, he flung his door open and jumped in my bed. The first words out of his mouth were "this is my energy Day Mom! Do you know what that means?" I fearfully replied "No?" He said, "This is the day that I have EXTRA energy!!!" All I could say was "Wow." How could it be that a rain day and his Extra Energy day occurred on the same day. My first thought... "I'm doomed!"

I began to think about the decision I had made a short time before this. I chose to make this a good day. I had decided to greet the day with a good attitude. Really? Could this still work?

I had already decided to wait and do school in the afternoon today. My children were up later than normal. This is where I'm extra thankful for the flexibility of homeschooling. I went to the gym to work out and they got to play in the Child Care Area. At one point in my motherhood journey, I would have thought that I was being selfish to take this time for me. I now see it quite different. This workout helps me so much. It allows me to stay healthy, focused and gets those "feel good" endorphins flowing through my body. Post workout, I feel like I can conquer more!

It is now in the afternoon and we are about to head to our school room to finish our school for the day. If we finish in enough time, we may be able to play a game together or snuggle and watch a movie. This day is turning out wonderfully. Not only am I surviving, I'm embracing and enjoying.

Thank you Lord for allowing me to see that I am the one that makes the choice on how I will greet each day. Thank you for helping me to choose a good attitude. Thank you for helping me to set the proper tone in my home today. I am nothing without you. Oh and thank you for this beautiful rainy day. I am looking forward to some good quality time with my sweet children. Amen.

ADHD Monday

Mondays. Need I say more? Mondays tend to be a big tougher than other days. We are getting back into routine after our weekend break. A break in routine lends itself to a day or two of extra patience needed. We typically have a later start on Mondays. After trying different ways, I found it to be the most successful. It is also a day we play "catch-up" from the weekend. It is usually a longer school day for us. I think I would be right if I said Monday is probably most people's least liked day of the week. This is proving to be true for us today.

We have taken the week off from school. I am busy doing spring cleaning. The children are helping also. David stuck with us for a good while and did his chores and a few extra. As I was cleaning my furniture, it dawned on me that it was a little too quiet. I called out "David!" No response. I called again. No response. Suddenly, my little man arrives in the sun room dripping wet. He looked at me soaked to the bone with those cute puppy-dog eyes. "Ok, Mom. I won't lie." (Ummm, thanks son. That's a good way to start). "I climbed the fence so I could go look at the fish in Mrs. Flo's yard. I wasn't even close to the edge, but I fell in her pond!" It was all I could do to not laugh hysterically. I had to turn around and busy myself at the counter so David would not know that I was highly amused. Now the hard part came, I still had to administer a consequence to his inappropriate action. This is a time I find it hard to be consistent. I called his Daddy who helped me to decide how to handle it. I almost laugh thinking of the thought process that may have gotten him into that pond.

Now that I type this out, I realize that maybe our day isn't so rough after all. I now have a very clean son (who showered after his pond experience), I'm laughing still thinking about what happened and I'm getting a clean house. You can never know what each day will bring you. Then, when you add ADHD into the mix, you REALLY never know! I think I will go and hug each of my children a little tighter. They really do make Monday's worth it all.