Moving Day!

February 28th, 2015 arrived.  The date that I was dreading began to excite me.  I had so many different emotions on this day!

We were moving back to Canada without jobs or a house of our own.

Starting at 8:30, people started to arrive to help us move.  We could not believe how many people came to help.  A special hockey friend took off work!  More people stopped by for one more hug.  It was the most amazing moving experience we have ever had.

One of the last memories I have of being in our house was standing in my son's room looking into our backyard and sobbing.  My kids had done so much growing up in that house.  It had been filled with love, laughter and wonderful memories.  My beautiful friend, Amy Isaacson found me in there and just hugged me and cried with me.  I will never forget those precious moments.

Thank you our precious friends for being there for us in one of our hardest times of our life.  We love you!

I am always nervous crossing the border.  I'm weird like that.  The custom officers were so amazing and kind.  There was a LOT of paperwork to complete, but they made it fun!  Who knew!?!

We arrived at Martin's mom's late that night.  His mother and step dad had opened their home to us for as long as we needed.  You hear many things about mother-in-laws.... I have the very best one.  She loved me through those first few weeks.  I cried a lot.  We changed her routine.  We had kids.  It was crazy in there.  Not once did she make us feel unwelcome.  She loved us through the changes.

Thank you to all those that helped us on the north side of the border with unpacking the truck and loading up those storage units!

We moved on a Saturday and Martin received a job offer on the Friday!  He started the following Tuesday!  We couldn't believe it!  We have been told by so many that you don't just get a job that quickly here.  God was taking care of us.

Learning To Be Canadian Again Part #2

It was decided.  We would be moving back to Canada on the last day of February.  There was so much to do and I wasn't one bit happy about doing any of it.  God sent some very special people to help carry me through this time.  I hesitate to start mentioning names, lest I forget anyone.  One name that has to be said is Heather Saroli.  If it wasn't for her, I would probably still be sitting in my house wondering where to start.  Heather was not happy about the move, but she put that aside and took care of so many things for me.  I was numb.  I was angry.  I was sad.  I had anxiety that was debilitating.  She carried me through.  From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

We were so overwhelmed with all the love and support we received.  So many friends came by to help pack, took us to dinner, talked with us, cried with us, one special friend of ours made sure we had every box we needed AND took Martin's car home with him the night before we moved to make a repair on it.  We were stunned.  There were so many of you that dropped by with hugs, gifts, Tim Horton's Gift Cards (best place ever!).  We did not expect any of this.  Martin and I would sit at night and talk about the love shown to us and just cry together.  If you must know, I"m crying now as I type this.

Some of our very best friends who we consider family were so upset that they were going to be out of town when we moved.  They came by the night before their much needed vacation to bring us dinner! The list goes on and on.  Friends threw us Goodbye Parties.  Another friend let me host a surprise birthday party for Victoria at her house with over 20 teenagers!  That is a good friend!

From the bottom of our hearts... THANK YOU.  Thank You seems so little compared to what you all did for us.  I'm humbled.  We LOVE YOU!

The last week of our life in MI was happening.  I was sitting in the very last church service as a member of Woodlawn Church.  I LOVED my church.  Why was God making me leave!?  As we worshipped, God impressed on my heart that everything was going to be ok.  It was time to not just get through this move, but to EMBRACE it.  I had a spiritual heart operation happen right then and there.  My spirit changed, my outlook changed.  All of a sudden, I actually felt excited about the move.  What a difference!

Learning To Be Canadian Again Part #1

Yes, it's been quite a while since I have blogged.  I have had so many thoughts running through my head, but I've struggled with getting to the place where I was ready to start typing.  We recently sang "I'm Not Alone" by Kari Jobe at church.  This song brought me back to earlier this year and I knew it was time to start typing and to share our experience.

I'm now ready!

It all started on December 31st, 2014.  I began to feel an unrest in my spirit.  It continued on through the celebrations of New Year's Day.  I tried my very best to ignore this feeling.  You see, I've had this feeling before.  This feeling always meant that big changes were on the way.  I don't know about you, but I hate change.  The older I get, the more I hate change.  Yet, it seems that the older I get, there is a lot more changes (and I'm NOT talking about the change of life!!!)

I felt like it had something to do with our living situation.  As most of you know, we were living in Michigan and were in the green card process for permanent status.  This feeling of unrest would not go away.  I finally told Martin that I had this feeling and felt like we would know in 2015 whether we would be staying in the U.S. or not.  Of course we would be staying in the U.S.  That's where we had built a life and we wouldn't be moving back to Canada.  WRONG!

Martin was in a job where he had the worst boss ever and was treated terrible.  Things turned from bad to worse.  This boss made a big mistake in his calculations.  He was pressuring everyone hugely to "find" more money and made the comment that they could "lose" some bills stating expenses.  His job was on the line.  Martin took a lot of verbal abuse from this man.  He wanted Martin to "fudge" the numbers.  Martin refused to do so.  L-O-N-G story short, Martin resigned the day after my birthday.  

Honestly, I was devastated.  I knew what this meant.  We would not be staying in Michigan.  Don't get me wrong, I was SO proud of my husband that he was such a man of integrity that he would resign from a very nice-paying job to do what was right.  However, I'm human!  I was stunned.  Life suddenly became very scary.  This should NOT be happening!  We followed your leading our whole lives Lord and this is what we get!?!  Yep, I had those thoughts.  Remember... I'm human.  

Some of those days seem like a blur.  My anxiety was over the top.  I couldn't eat or drink.  I sat on the couch and stared out the window and cried and then I cried some more.  I lost 5 pounds in 3 days.  I was in the "pit of despair" as Anne of Green Gables would say.  Martin shared Kari Jobe's song with me "I'm Not Alone".  I would sit and listen to it and sob.  I felt alone.  My whole life was changing and there wasn't one thing I could do about it.  I was scared.  I was angry.  Anxiety was consuming me.  On the flip side, Martin was so happy.  He had such a joy that I hadn't seen in quite a while.  He couldn't stop smiling.  I looked over at him one night and said "I've never seen you so happy to be without a job."  A huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.  He had chosen morals over money and that alone brings one joy.  

Mine!

As I was sitting in church yesterday, the words "He's my King" stuck out to me. I've heard this phrase many times, however, yesterday, it really made me think. The word "my" really began to excite me. The word "my" is a simple two letter word. It shows possession. When my children were younger and their vocabulary was yet to be developed, the word "Mine" was used quite often. As their mother when they would exclaim (and sometimes quite loudly) "Mine!" It was my job to teach them to share. I would confirm that yes they did indeed own the desired toy, however, sharing was appropriate and actually would make not only others happy, but in return, they would have be happy because they shared. (For the record, my kids still look at me like I'm senseless when I repeat that to them!) Jesus is MY King. However, when I share Him with others and I don't keep Him to myself, I will have renewed joy also. I was excited to think that I am able to proclaim that Christ is MY King. He died on the cross for MY sins and He rose again so that I might have life. That's some pretty exciting stuff! There's good news! Even though He is MY King. He can be your King also. The love Jesus has for us is even greater than that of a parent for their child. I can't even comprehend the magnitude of that type of love. It's free for the asking. The childhood song remains true "The More We Get Together The Happier We'll Be". Jesus died on the cross for MY sins, but He also died on the cross for your sins. There is great rest and safety in His love. I pray that you too will call Him "Mine!"

I'm God's Favorite!

Last night, I did a little experiment. It's quite funny how it played out.

David and I were in the basement and I said "Hey Buddy, I have a secret to tell you, but you have to promise me to not tell anyone, especially Victoria." His eyes brightened and he looked at me and said "Ok!" I told him "Remember, you can't tell ANYONE this, but you are my favorite child." He started to laugh and replied "No, I'm not!" I asked him why and he just kept saying "Victoria is!" We both headed upstairs.

No sooner did we get upstairs and David yells out "Victoria! Guess what!?! I'm Mom's favorite child!" I hid behind the wall and shook my head no and pointed to Victoria and mouthed the words "You are." I knew all along that David wouldn't keep a secret. My little boy would be unable to keep a secret if his life depended on it. My plan was playing out.

I put David into bed and went in to talk with Victoria. I sat on her bed and I said, "Honey, you know you are really my favorite child, right?" She responded "No, I'm not. I know it's David." I asked her why and she said "Because he doesn't get in trouble." This made me laugh outright because anyone who knows my energetic darling boy knows this to not be the case. Even though that was her response, I saw the twinkle in her eye from our conversation.

I head to the kitchen and there appears my son with his cup to get the infamous second cup of water at bedtime. He heads to the fridge and begins to fill his cup with water from the water dispenser. He looks at me with wonder in his eyes and asks in all seriousness, "Mom, am I REALLY your favorite child." I assured him that this was true. His eyes took on a glow and amazement radiated from him. He was in such awe that he forgot he was filling his cup and majorly over-filled it until it spilled all over the floor and on the fridge. He looked up and said "Am I still your favorite child?"

As the minutes passed, I found out that trying this experiment at bedtime may not have been the very best idea. You see, David thought that since he was the favorite child that he could keep getting out of bed. When I put him in one last time, He said "Mom, how is it the child that gives you the most trouble is your favorite?" Any mother knows that no matter what, you love your child. His question pricked my heart and made me think.

This morning as I was getting ready for the day, I was reflecting over last night's events. I began to think of how it is with myself as God's child. If God told me "You are my favorite child." I would respond the same as my children "No, I'm not." The thought of God loving me that much is incomprehensible to me. Just as I do not love one of my children more than the other, my eyes have been opened through this experiment that Christ loves us all equally. He didn't die on the cross for someone else's sins more than mine. His blood was shed for all of man-kind. I really am God's favorite!

A New Year!

It's a New Year. It seems that the entry of each New Year brings a promise of new beginnings. So many people make resolutions that they promise themselves that this is the year that they will actually stick to it.

Attendance at the gym seems to more than double for the first few weeks of January. By February, it's back to normal again. While having a resolution isn't necessarily a bad thing, it occurs to me that a resolution can seem like an unreachable option.

This year I have been thinking more about setting goals for myself rather than making an absolute resolution. Recently, a friend told me that they were working on their 3 year and 5 year plan. They are setting goals to reach where they resolve to be. I attended a private Christian school for a good part of my school years. Each day, we were required to set our goals for which we wished to accomplish in each subject. If we didn't reach that daily goal, we knew what our homework was.

As I'm typing this, my mind pondering the word "goal". I began to think about a goal in hockey. In a hockey game, the player's resolution is to win the game. It takes getting goals to get them there. If they just went on the ice and did nothing but stand there, they would not obtain any goals. It takes hard work and peseverance for them to accomplish getting these goals. Think of the cheering when your team gets a goal!

I'm looking at this year much the same way. I have things that I need to accomplish in my natural and spiritual life this year. I haven't set an absolute resolution this year, but I've set some personal goals to work towards and by the grace of God, I will be successful!

Things Change

It has been a very exhausting week in our home. It was quite hectic with Martin having his audit this week at work and the children's activities and school. What made it all the more hard was that David wasn't sleeping very well at night. We made a change in his medicine and we sprung forward! That is NOT a good mix! If David isn't sleeping, Mama isn't sleeping. By the third night, I was feeling desparate for him to just fall asleep early so that I could relax and get some rest too. Irrational thoughts began to go through my mind, "what if he never sleeps again? What if I never have a quiet evening again? He won't be able to function at school, which means he won't do as well, etc...." I'm sure any Mother knows what I mean. Thankfully, on the third night, he fell asleep easier. Things Changed.

"Things change. Nothing lasts forever" were very wise words spoken to me many years ago while experiencing a challenging time. I have clung to those words so many times in my life, especially when everything seems overwhelming.

As I was packing to go on a Girl Scout Camping Trip with my daughter this weekend, I began to ponder on the other side of change. My children are changing each and every day. They are growing more and more independant. I began to think that I want to take advantage of every second. Before I know it, they are going to be grown up and have their own lives. Camping is not my favorite thing to do, but I wouldn't trade this weekend of camping that we do every year for anything! I am able to relax and enjoy my daughter in a special way. (The guys love having the weekend to goof off too!).

So if you are in a spot in your life where it seems that things are unbearable, just remember.... THINGS CHANGE! It won't always be like this. Tie a knot in your rope and hang on and enjoy the ride!