Wow! I did not know that the words I wrote yesterday were the very words I would need today. We are not having a good day today. My son is challenging me extra this morning. I sincerely think that he would be ready to argue that the sun is green today. I began to get uptight, frustrated and exasperated with him. Then yesterday's words began to ring in my mind..."whisper..." I chose to whisper. What a difference. It is actually empowering to know that "I" am the one controlling how I choose to respond. My world is in no way perfect, but I'm so blessed that I have our perfect Savior to hold my hand and whisper, "Child, you can do this."
God's timing has always amazed me in my life. It can be so hard when in our current circumstances to understand why God allows things to happen. You know what though? His timing is ALWAYS perfect! I look back over my life and see that when I had to wait for things that I thought I should have had immediately, that's God's timing was perfect. Hindsight certainly is 20/20.
I have always liked to be on time. If I'm not early, I'm late. However, when I had children this belief was greatly challenged for me. Many times, the unexpected would happen. Other times, I just hadn't planned ahead of time properly. If I am running late, it creates a great amount of stress for me and then for my children. Again, my attitude sets the tone for our home. There are certain things that I must be on time for, but I have learned that other things can be relaxed more. It can be a monumental chore to get a child with ADHD to get his/her shoes on and out the door. My mind thinks, "let's just put the shoes on and let's go!" His mind thinks, "Wow, these shoes a cool blue color. The sky is blue too. I wonder how high I can jump into the sky? Maybe if I climb the tree and jump, I can get father up." You get the picture. This leads me to looking around for my son to find him in the tree ready to jump! How exasperating that can be!!! I am learning to walk my son through putting on his shoes. Giving a child with ADHD too many steps or too many commands is setting them up for failure. It is a good idea to give him one action to do. I will then peek to see how that action is going. I will redirect if needed. Then, the next action to be taken can be directed. I have learned that it's not David's disobedience that led him to climb the tree, but his creativeness.
How many of us have stories of how God provided something just at the perfect moment? Last year, I was having a specially trying day with my son. I prayed and asked the Lord if He would give me something special to let me know HE knew and was aware. About an hour later, the mail arrived. It came about four hours earlier than it normally does. I thought it strange. I retrieved the mail and found amongst it a card addressed to me. I opened it up and the very front of the card said, "He Has You In The Palm Of His Hand." WOW! The Lord knew where I was and what I was experiencing! Even more amazing to me was that He knew when I would need that and had dealt with someones heart to mail this card to me. I felt so loved and humbled. I will always appreciate my dear sister in the Lord for following the Lord's leading. God's timing is perfect!
So... when you ask yourself, "Will this last forever?" Remember, that it will not. (Please feel free to remind ME of that on any given day too!). The Lord will equip you to complete each day as you raise the precious treasure you have been entrusted with. Hold on and enjoy the ride. It will be over before you know it.
Showing posts with label time-out. Show all posts
Showing posts with label time-out. Show all posts
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Reactions
ADHD is a very rough road to travel. There are a lot of hard days for child and parent alike. I have come to the conclusion that parenting my son will never be easy. There has been three days up to this point that were easy days. There has been a lot of tolerable days and intolerable days. To be honest, there's days I want to throw in the towel and allow someone else the chance to try. The Scriptures say that the Lord's mercies are new every morning. How amazing is that? He equips me each and every day to handle that day's challenges. Our God knows exactly where I am on each given day and gives me the strength to conquer it. I'm so blessed.
It's so important to remember that my son's brain works very differently than mine. This is a blessing and a curse to him. The curse is that he doesn't always fit in what society considers "normal" thinking and problem solving. The blessing is also that he doesn't always fit in what society considers "normal" thinking and problem solving. David will have challenges as he thinks outside of the box and that is sometimes hard for his peers and elders to see. However, David will be able to do so many great things as he is able to come at a problem and life at a different angle. So many successful people in history showed so many signs of ADHD. They were able to think outside of the box. The "H" in ADHD definitely would have given them the energy to make their idea come to life.
It can be so hard to react positivelty when your patience has been tried over and over in any given day. It is very important for me to set boundaries and stick to them. This is the case for any child, but even more important for one with ADHD. They need to know what to expect and what is required of them for their success. It can be so frustrating repeating yourself for the gazillionth time. At first, I thought that David was just not listening and disobeying. I realize now that many times he didn't hear me, or he heard me, but it didn't process properly in his brain. Eye contact is very helpful when giving direction. Giving too many steps to a child with ADHD is overwhelming for them. Many times I will have my son repeat what I have instructed him to do. He is not disobeying me and he is not dumb, he just processes information differently than I do. As the parent, I have to be the one that make changes in the way I parent. That has been the hard part for me, but oh so worth it. There's times when I feel very frustrated that I will whisper. My children look at me strange and ask, "Mom, why are you whispering?" I reply "I am whispering rather than yelling." It takes more concentration for me to whisper and helps to dispel my present distress. We all have given our children "time-outs". The purpose of time-out is to remove your child from the situation and give them time to regroup. Guess what? Sometimes I give myself a time-out. If we are having an extra trying day, I will give my children something to keep them busy and tell them that Mom is feeling frustrated and needs to take a few minutes to calm down. This is NOT a sign of weekness to them, but rather shows them a good example for problem solving. I will take those few minutes in my room alone. I will regroup and then return to what we were doing. My attitude sets the tone for our home. Do I ever lose my temper? Unfortunately, yes. It's those times that I need to seek forgiveness from my Savior and my children. Again, I'm so thankful His mercies are new everymorning.
It's so important to remember that my son's brain works very differently than mine. This is a blessing and a curse to him. The curse is that he doesn't always fit in what society considers "normal" thinking and problem solving. The blessing is also that he doesn't always fit in what society considers "normal" thinking and problem solving. David will have challenges as he thinks outside of the box and that is sometimes hard for his peers and elders to see. However, David will be able to do so many great things as he is able to come at a problem and life at a different angle. So many successful people in history showed so many signs of ADHD. They were able to think outside of the box. The "H" in ADHD definitely would have given them the energy to make their idea come to life.
It can be so hard to react positivelty when your patience has been tried over and over in any given day. It is very important for me to set boundaries and stick to them. This is the case for any child, but even more important for one with ADHD. They need to know what to expect and what is required of them for their success. It can be so frustrating repeating yourself for the gazillionth time. At first, I thought that David was just not listening and disobeying. I realize now that many times he didn't hear me, or he heard me, but it didn't process properly in his brain. Eye contact is very helpful when giving direction. Giving too many steps to a child with ADHD is overwhelming for them. Many times I will have my son repeat what I have instructed him to do. He is not disobeying me and he is not dumb, he just processes information differently than I do. As the parent, I have to be the one that make changes in the way I parent. That has been the hard part for me, but oh so worth it. There's times when I feel very frustrated that I will whisper. My children look at me strange and ask, "Mom, why are you whispering?" I reply "I am whispering rather than yelling." It takes more concentration for me to whisper and helps to dispel my present distress. We all have given our children "time-outs". The purpose of time-out is to remove your child from the situation and give them time to regroup. Guess what? Sometimes I give myself a time-out. If we are having an extra trying day, I will give my children something to keep them busy and tell them that Mom is feeling frustrated and needs to take a few minutes to calm down. This is NOT a sign of weekness to them, but rather shows them a good example for problem solving. I will take those few minutes in my room alone. I will regroup and then return to what we were doing. My attitude sets the tone for our home. Do I ever lose my temper? Unfortunately, yes. It's those times that I need to seek forgiveness from my Savior and my children. Again, I'm so thankful His mercies are new everymorning.
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