It has been a very exhausting week in our home. It was quite hectic with Martin having his audit this week at work and the children's activities and school. What made it all the more hard was that David wasn't sleeping very well at night. We made a change in his medicine and we sprung forward! That is NOT a good mix! If David isn't sleeping, Mama isn't sleeping. By the third night, I was feeling desparate for him to just fall asleep early so that I could relax and get some rest too. Irrational thoughts began to go through my mind, "what if he never sleeps again? What if I never have a quiet evening again? He won't be able to function at school, which means he won't do as well, etc...." I'm sure any Mother knows what I mean. Thankfully, on the third night, he fell asleep easier. Things Changed.
"Things change. Nothing lasts forever" were very wise words spoken to me many years ago while experiencing a challenging time. I have clung to those words so many times in my life, especially when everything seems overwhelming.
As I was packing to go on a Girl Scout Camping Trip with my daughter this weekend, I began to ponder on the other side of change. My children are changing each and every day. They are growing more and more independant. I began to think that I want to take advantage of every second. Before I know it, they are going to be grown up and have their own lives. Camping is not my favorite thing to do, but I wouldn't trade this weekend of camping that we do every year for anything! I am able to relax and enjoy my daughter in a special way. (The guys love having the weekend to goof off too!).
So if you are in a spot in your life where it seems that things are unbearable, just remember.... THINGS CHANGE! It won't always be like this. Tie a knot in your rope and hang on and enjoy the ride!
Showing posts with label medicine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label medicine. Show all posts
Friday, March 18, 2011
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Who am I ? (2)
My plan had finally unfolded the way I would like. I was happily married and had my two children. It was about time my plan came to life. I was ready to be the perfect stay-at-home mother of my two perfect children.
It began in the hospital, the day our son was born. David would cry when his position was changed. There was something wrong, or so we thought. The nurse took him to the special care nursery. Other than crying to eat every two hours, he was fine as long as no one moved him. I sat by him, holding his hand, crying. What was wrong with my baby? We waited for the specialist to see him. The prognosis: He might just be in a little pain from being born. He was a totally healthy baby. Thank God!
Due to the power outage, we were able to leave the hospital and come home early. It was wonderful coming home with our family! The first month of life at home is a fuzzy memory. We somehow survived. David liked to eat every 2 hours and cried a lot in between feedings. Nothing made him happy. My saving grace... he suddenly began to sleep through the night at 4 weeks. Thank You Jesus! That full night of rest gave me strength to get through the days of non-stop crying. It seemed that our son had developed colic. I was mom to a two year old, a colicky newborn and had no family close by. I remember somedays my husband would come home from work and I would be standing at the door with my screaming son in my arms, my daughter with me, crying. He would relieve me and I would go to the basement and lay on the bed and sob. What happened to my plan!?! This is NOT how parenthood was supposed to be.
I was torn between comforting my son, spending time with my toddler, being a wife, keeping house and being active in church. There was not enough of me to go around. Therefore, the "I'm fine" phasade came to be. The permament smile that let others know I had it all under control. Ha! Control? What was that? I had lost control. I was falling into a deep dark hole that I couldn't get out of.
I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety in the fall of 2004. What? How could I, a happily married wife and loving mother and a Chrisitan be depressed? Where was my faith in God? Christian people don't get depressed! I started on medicine and things began to turn around. I could now think clearer again. I could cope better. The decision to medicate or not is always a personal decision. I respect those that don't, and I ask for respect for those that do. Life began to look brighter again. I could do this after all. It got a whole lot easier. David was never easy to parent like his sister, but it was tolerable now. I just thought that it was the big difference between a boy and a girl. However, deep down my mother's intuition nagged at me that it was more.
We moved back to the U.S. in June of 2005, one day before our 10th wedding anniversary. It was a wonderful and joyous day. (We had been living just across the border for 6 1/2 yrs. due to immigration). Life was unfolding beautifully.
My daughter (who has always been a joy and so easy-going!) was now getting to school-age. Our plan all along had been to send her to a Chrisitan school. However, whenever we prayed about where the word "homeschooling" would come to me. I was NOT going to homeschool. That was crazy, insane and NOT me. Also, my husband was dead set AGAINST homeschooling. This was NOT our plan. We both agreed to pray for a few months about it and discuss again. I will never forget that discussion! We were in the vehicle on the way to church. I said, "Honey, we need to make a decision about school for our daughter." He agreed. I continued, "Whenever I pray about her schooling, I feel like the Lord is telling me that we are to homeschool." He looked at me and said, "You are totally right." What!?! God had dealt with his heart and showed him that we were to homeschool. It was NOT what we planned, but knew without a doubt that homeschooling was what our family was to do.
It began in the hospital, the day our son was born. David would cry when his position was changed. There was something wrong, or so we thought. The nurse took him to the special care nursery. Other than crying to eat every two hours, he was fine as long as no one moved him. I sat by him, holding his hand, crying. What was wrong with my baby? We waited for the specialist to see him. The prognosis: He might just be in a little pain from being born. He was a totally healthy baby. Thank God!
Due to the power outage, we were able to leave the hospital and come home early. It was wonderful coming home with our family! The first month of life at home is a fuzzy memory. We somehow survived. David liked to eat every 2 hours and cried a lot in between feedings. Nothing made him happy. My saving grace... he suddenly began to sleep through the night at 4 weeks. Thank You Jesus! That full night of rest gave me strength to get through the days of non-stop crying. It seemed that our son had developed colic. I was mom to a two year old, a colicky newborn and had no family close by. I remember somedays my husband would come home from work and I would be standing at the door with my screaming son in my arms, my daughter with me, crying. He would relieve me and I would go to the basement and lay on the bed and sob. What happened to my plan!?! This is NOT how parenthood was supposed to be.
I was torn between comforting my son, spending time with my toddler, being a wife, keeping house and being active in church. There was not enough of me to go around. Therefore, the "I'm fine" phasade came to be. The permament smile that let others know I had it all under control. Ha! Control? What was that? I had lost control. I was falling into a deep dark hole that I couldn't get out of.
I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety in the fall of 2004. What? How could I, a happily married wife and loving mother and a Chrisitan be depressed? Where was my faith in God? Christian people don't get depressed! I started on medicine and things began to turn around. I could now think clearer again. I could cope better. The decision to medicate or not is always a personal decision. I respect those that don't, and I ask for respect for those that do. Life began to look brighter again. I could do this after all. It got a whole lot easier. David was never easy to parent like his sister, but it was tolerable now. I just thought that it was the big difference between a boy and a girl. However, deep down my mother's intuition nagged at me that it was more.
We moved back to the U.S. in June of 2005, one day before our 10th wedding anniversary. It was a wonderful and joyous day. (We had been living just across the border for 6 1/2 yrs. due to immigration). Life was unfolding beautifully.
My daughter (who has always been a joy and so easy-going!) was now getting to school-age. Our plan all along had been to send her to a Chrisitan school. However, whenever we prayed about where the word "homeschooling" would come to me. I was NOT going to homeschool. That was crazy, insane and NOT me. Also, my husband was dead set AGAINST homeschooling. This was NOT our plan. We both agreed to pray for a few months about it and discuss again. I will never forget that discussion! We were in the vehicle on the way to church. I said, "Honey, we need to make a decision about school for our daughter." He agreed. I continued, "Whenever I pray about her schooling, I feel like the Lord is telling me that we are to homeschool." He looked at me and said, "You are totally right." What!?! God had dealt with his heart and showed him that we were to homeschool. It was NOT what we planned, but knew without a doubt that homeschooling was what our family was to do.
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